As a child, I remember my father and his friends actually looking forward to retirement, talking about the fishing trips and the puttering around in the yard they were going to do.

That kind of talk is a startling contrast to the conversations that I have today with my friends, acquaintances and business associates. Instead, the catch phrase generally comes down to something like this: I'll never have enough money saved for retirement!

The change in current thinking is due to several factors:

Our acceptable standard of living and what we plan to do in retirement is much greater than that of our parents or any generation before them. My folks were essentially homebodies, content to make family meals, maintain a small, functional wardrobe, see an occasional movie or vacation at grandma's house, and drive a modest car (usually one per family). On the opposite end of the spectrum, most of my friends and associates like to take occasional trips to Europe, dine at fancy restaurants, drive the latest-model luxury vehicle, and buy expensive clothing. And… we really don't want to lower our standard of living during retirement.

Most company-paid pension plans have gone by the wayside. My father's generation worked 30-40 years for the same company and were rewarded with a modest, but steady pension they could count on for their retirement years. Most of my age group - and certainly just about all of those coming after - must create that retirement income for ourselves, and most of us have done a pretty lousy job of it.

We can no longer count on Social Security benefits to augment our retirement savings. Social Security was never really meant to be the retirement savings accounts that everyone from John Smith on the street to politicians believe it is. Instead, it was designed as a measure during some very rough economic times to keep poor families from descending into abject poverty. Today, we consider it our right, and everyone panics about the projections that the fund will run out of money somewhere around 2040. And while the politicians will most likely not let that happen, our stubborn reliance on Social Security as a retirement fund needs to change.

Our longer life spans and health care costs will eat up a significant portion of our retirement savings. Traditional actuarial models have relied on average longevity (currently around 77 years of age in the U.S.) and average health care expenditures ($200,000 during retirement, for an average couple who retires at 65) to project retirement savings. However, no one, as Terry Savage says in her recent book, The Savage Number: How Much MONEY Do You Need to Retire?, is average. For those who live well beyond age 77 and who may have very expensive, chronic diseases, 'average' retirement savings will run out pretty quickly.

The bottom line, I can assure you, is that you will need more than you think in your retirement fund. And that is even more frightening when you consider that we are not saving enough to fund our current, low-ball misconceived idea of how much money we will need - much less what we may actually require. Right now, the majority of workers between 45 and 54 have less than $50,000 in savings. And unfortunately, a good portion of that is earmarked for their children's educational needs - not for their retirement plans.

I know this is discouraging information. But we have been burying our heads in the sand for a very long time. The good news is that it's not too late to influence the outcome and to provide for a - maybe not as grand - retirement, but certainly one in which you can spend your golden years still doing the activities you enjoy, in a fairly contented, hopefully healthy and mostly independent environment.

The first step: You must commit to a realistic goal. Most of us are just not going to have the funds to sail the Nile one year, climb Mt. Everest the next, or spend every summer on the Mediterranean. Those are nice dreams, but probably unrealistic.

A plethora of Internet sites will help you calculate your retirement needs based on your lifestyle, health, family longevity history, and spending projections. But for the most realistic projections, I suggest you try several, including the new wave of calculators that employ the Monte Carlo method for forecasting savings needs.

This methodology has nothing to do with Las Vegas gambling. Instead, it employs mathematical and statistical models that don't just average retirement needs, but allow you to build in volatility, based on different scenarios that you may face during your golden years. The models run thousands of simulations that take into account variations in your personal situation, investment strategy, years to retire, spending habits, inflation risks, whether or not you are willing to work in your retirement years, withdrawal needs, and possible bequests or inheritances for your heirs.

I caution you when entering this data to be very aggressive in considering all the expenditures you may have and extremely conservative when forecasting the actual income you may reap from your current savings and investments.

Here are some web site retirement calculators that are very popular:

http://sites.stockpoint.com/aarp_rc/wm/Retirement/Retirement.asp?act=LOGIN

http://fireseeker.com/firecalc.php

http://www.moneychimp.com/articles/volatility/montecarlo.htm

http://www.flexibleretirementplanner.com/

Don't be discouraged by the results. I've been in the investing world for many years, and I, too, was a little dumbfounded when I actually saw - in black and white - that I have been spending way too much and saving way too little for many years. But, hey, it's a wake-up call that I needed, and you probably do too.

Now, if you want to get really serious and come up with the most realistic of planning tools, you may want to consult your financial advisor or broker. Many financial firms offer their customers a much more comprehensive model than what you will find on the Internet sites. They will personally design your plan around your goals, but you may have to pay a couple of hundred dollars for the exercise - which will be peanuts in the long-term, if it helps your create a more worry-free retirement.

That's your homework for this week. Plug in your numbers to a couple of these sites. Don't be surprised when the outcomes vary, since the volatility assumptions will change from site to site.

Then, armed with that information which should give you a good estimate of your retirement needs, you will be ready to tackle your savings and investing plans. Next week, we'll talk about the various retirement vehicles that may help you achieve your goals.